


Please Leave a Message Before the Beep

by derangedduck



Category: Firefly, Serenity (2005), Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Crossover, Drabble, Gen, Podfic Available, Pop Culture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-31
Updated: 2014-07-31
Packaged: 2018-02-11 05:49:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2056158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/derangedduck/pseuds/derangedduck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles likes pop-culture references. River knows this, but probably shouldn't attempt to communicate that way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Please Leave a Message Before the Beep

**Author's Note:**

> Very brief chunk of a larger crossover piece that is unlikely to be written. While some things are hinted at that could construe spoilers, I think it's mostly the case that you won't see the hints unless you already know what they're about. Also, I have chosen to misuse the word "either", for which I apologize to those who are grammar-sensitive.

River hisses like an angry cat when Peter first makes his way into a room with her. Everyone freezes, which gives Stiles the impression that maybe an angry River offers more of a threat than her tiny frame suggests. Given the company he keeps, this isn’t entirely surprising; while werewolves tended to bulk up, Lydia was both tiny _and_ the only person he knew who could make contact explosives out of any variety of household materials. (All Stiles knew was not to mix chlorine and ammonia. He’d downloaded a copy of the Anarchist Cookbook once, but never really got around to reading it.)

He figures River’s either some sort of meta-human, a super genius, completely unhinged, or possibly just a quick judge of character. (Like, _really_ quick. He couldn’t argue with her judgment, but usually it took Peter at least a minute of the Hale Creeper Stare or some Peter-specific brand of sociopathy in a conversation before people picked up on the whole Evil Dick thing.)

“So, this is kinda Twilight Zone,” Stiles admits when Peter does an about-face and exits immediately.

“Try again. Different channel. Different River. Can’t step in the same one twice. Even if it’s the only water in the forest.” River tells Stiles seriously.

Stiles’ brain goes through a few things in rapid succession. One, sounded like _crazy_ might be the thing about River that gave people pause. Two, something about Pocahontas. Three, referring to herself in third person sounded like something to use as supporting evidence for ‘crazy’, and–four -

“Wait. I think I understood that reference,” he blurted, reassessing when the eyes of the room’s occupants turned towards him. It didn’t seem quite fair that these looks were more blatantly questioning of his sanity than they’d been of River’s.

River, at least, hadn’t changed expressions. “Hello, Sweetie,” she offered in greeting, and Stiles only _just_ held in a whoop of joy. This place wasn’t entirely alien, then, if they could share pop culture references.

The dark-haired guy who’d introduced himself as River’s brother looked concerned. “River, do you… know him?” He asked at last, seeming torn between being scandalized by or resigned to River’s choice of remarks.

“What? No,” Stiles answered for her, “It’s a reference. Is she seriously the only Whovian on board? Why do I end up finding stuff like this out when I don’t have my external hard-drive with me? You guys are _missing out_.”

“Rose Tyler, please leave a message,” River’s face scrunches up for a moment, quiet, before she finds the end of her sentence, “ _before_ the beep. What’s the message? Let’s play telephone tag. _What is Rose Tyler’s message?_ ”

“What?” Stiles managed, blinking. He wished there was something in the vicinity with legible text; he could take off his shirt to try and read the tag if he were truly desperate, but he wasn’t really sure of the best subtle way check that he wasn’t dreaming.

“ _Who_ is on first,” River told him, face intent, “ _What’s_ on second. But tell me the message from Rose Tyler.”

It clicked, and Stiles’ breath half-stuttered before answering:  
  
“Bad Wolf.”

**Author's Note:**

> Tried using a different recording device from my previous attempt at podficcing to see how it compared. This one sounds a bit more muffled to me, but for anyone who's curious to compare the sound quality, you can listen to some of [My Very First Podfic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1963791) (of [Arysteia's](http://archiveofourown.org/users/arysteia/pseuds/arysteia) [Twice Told Tale](http://archiveofourown.org/works/411599)), and then you can compare it to [the podfic](http://www.mediafire.com/listen/xf9fcjwyl4zybdz/please_leave_a_message_before_the_beep_-_final_muffled.mp3) for _this_.


End file.
